


Awkward Technicality

by raven_aorla



Series: anchor and kaleidoscope [3]
Category: Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Recreational Drug Use, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 22:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15374277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven_aorla/pseuds/raven_aorla
Summary: Stefon doesn't meet his new husband's brother in the most dignified fashion.[Can be read solo.]





	Awkward Technicality

**Author's Note:**

> From the interview that inspired me. Stefon, with veil, watches from the desk.
> 
>  

Stefon nearly fell onto the doormat when he let himself into his and his new husband’s apartment. He let his glittery satchel - which had picked up a few mysterious stains but nothing dry cleaning wouldn’t fix - fall to the carpet and kicked off his boots. He could see Seth off to the side, watching TV on low volume with one of those craft beers he’d become obsessed with at his elbow. Seth gave him a wave.

Stefon was so exhausted that he just started babbling as he made his way to the couch. “Heyyyyy, sorrryyyy, I did my best to come home early, I’m feeling wired and punch-drunk and maybe a bit drunk drunk but I promise that I’ve been good! No hard drugs or anything, all I had was a few cocktails for quality control and shared a joint with Shy when I started having a tiny panic attack. He was there to make sure the bouncers were making everyone sign waivers before they came in like he recommended. I had the tiny panic attack because the Krispie Crocodile caught fire right when I was trying to take nice pictures for instagram.”

“...What’s a Krispie Crocodile?”

Stefon wondered for a moment why Seth wasn’t getting up to greet him, but Seth had a long day too and had been nice enough to stay up to wait for him. Seth was doing almost all the work planning all of their delayed wedding reception after their elopement months ago and coordinating the loved ones who would be attending. They’d wanted Anderson Cooper and everyone else at Stefon’s almost-wedding to chill out a bit first. The wall seemed like a nice place to lean on and take a rest. He could hear the wallpaper. 

Through the curlicue whispers, Stefon replied, “That’s a crocodile made of rice krispies. Joel was gonna have it be a serving bowl for Krokodil, too, but Shy talked him out of it. He said, ‘As much as I appreciate the pun and the whole Fuck Da Police sentiment, having a particularly controversial substance like that on the premises, is, from a legal standpoint, ill-advised at best.’ You know, I kinda miss just going to clubs, not that this isn’t my dream job when I’m not destroyed. I’ve slept, like, three hours in four nights or something? Because Joel’s my best friend and this is his dream and I had to make sure _Cockamamie Scheme_ had all the best buzz for its opening night, and I couldn’t rest until everything was perfect, down to the last viral video of the color-coded kazoo conveyer belt. Which was a big hit! And ooh, there were a few people who recognized me from Weekend Update and wanted autographs.”

“Nice.”

“Sorry my phone was off. I got in a really long battery-draining unexpected phone call just before the bugle sounded. It was with Jacked Beth about she and her wife and our son having to change their flight, and that has to be just right, too, just because Beth and I conceived him on prom night in mutual gay panic doesn’t mean I don’t love him…”

“Speaking of flight changes, in case you’re wondering…”

“I just want to sleep all tomorrow, and then I’ll help get ready for the reception on Saturday. I wanna be ready to meet the rest of your family.” Stefon flopped down next to Seth and kissed him harder than he meant to, thanks to adrenalin and relief, plus of course being so glad to have him to come home to.

Except Seth froze and didn’t kiss back. In fact, he started pushing him away. Stefon’s heart stopped. Had he done something wrong? Was his husband angry at him?

Then the master bedroom door opened...and Seth walked out. Stefon shrieked and fell backwards onto the floor, clumsily crabwalking to get away from whatever that _thing_ he’d just kissed was.

“Stefon, what’s going on?” Seth asked, running to his side.

Stefon clung to him. “Oh fuck, shit, I promise that I didn’t take any hard drugs on purpose, maybe somebody spiked my drink, or, or, I wouldn’t have, whoever that is, Seth Meyers, I really thought that was you, I love you, Stefon is not a liar or a cheat...“

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” Seth got down on the floor to hold him better and rubbed his back. “That’s Josh Meyers. I tried to call you to tell you he had to change his plans and is crashing with us tonight.”

In what would probably look comical on camera, Stefon looked at Seth, then at Josh (who had an identical expression of concern), then at Seth, then at Josh, then at Seth again. “You told me you were two years apart, not twins,” Stefon said in a small voice.

“We’re not twins,” Josh spoke up, sounding exactly. Like. Seth. “People do get confused, though. I’ve had people ask me how I managed to be on competing TV shows. I’m not offended.”

“Stefon only watches me on TV, and I guess it never occurred to me to show him pictures of you,” Seth said. He kissed Stefon on the cheek. The real reason, Stefon was pretty sure, was that one time Stefon had mentioned that family pictures made him feel sad because Stefon’s stepdad, David’s dad, didn’t like him. And Stefon’s mom was embarrassed about how she got Stefon, seeing as she’d been married at the time, though at least Mr. Bowie had kept up the child support payments. David Zolesky was the one who loved Stefon for Stefon, no reservations. Stefon knew how important a brother could be. And he might have just screwed things up between Seth and his brother for being a spaced-out idiot. 

“I’m really tired,” Stefon said in an even smaller voice, rubbing his face against the soft fabric of Seth’s old t-shirt.

“Let’s get some food in you and then you can sleep,” Seth said.

Bark Ruffalo woke up from all the commotion, so Stefon let him sit in his lap while he made his way through a reheated container of Pad Thai. Seth sat next to him, picking confetti out of his hair, since he was the square one who didn’t like confetti getting on the pillows.

Eventually, Josh turned off the TV and said, “I can see how he got you to embrace your inner gay, Soofie. He’s a good kisser.”

Stefon laughed. He laughed even harder when Seth put an arm around his waist and mock-growled at Josh, “Mine.”

***

The following evening, when Stefon finally got up and found the brothers playing Guitar Hero, they still looked like twins. In the light of day and in his right mind, Stefon could see Josh was a little taller and had slightly sharper features and a different hairstyle. They still moved and sounded like the same person, down to noises of frustration when they missed a button.

“Good morning, boys,” Stefon purred, eyeing them thoughtfully.

"No," Seth said, pausing the game.

“Maybe he’d say yes."

"Ste _fon_! Don't giggle, Poshie. Yeah, I said the thing, but this is serious." 

“Do I want to know?” Josh asked, cracking up anyway.

“No.”

Stefon sighed. Marriage was about compromise. “Fine.”


End file.
